and a time to every purpose under heaven...
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance."
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4
For the past couple of years my refrigerator has been blanketed with Save the Dates, bridal shower/tool and gadget invitations, and wedding invites. I love looking at them as each is unique in reflecting the personalities of that couple. Family, friends' children, children's friends, former students-- an honor to be included in these most special occasions. Tis the season! Our own family joined in this delightful time of celebration as Caleb (Son #2) and Dallas (my now daughter-in-love) got married last month. After a year-long engagement, lots of planning, countless decisions, and a few tears, the much anticipated day arrived.
I will admit there were some challenging days in the planning. Poring through photos for the rehearsal dinner video and a memory table honoring Jim was especially difficult. I wept when Caleb announced that he wanted both Austin and Hunter to be his best men "because they both represent the best of what was in Dad." I knew this was a tough time for him, too. After talking one evening, Caleb proclaimed, "We will not let Satan hijack our joy," and that became our mantra. My daily prayer was that joy would prevail for everyone in the wedding party as well as all the guests. As He sometimes will, the Lord answered that prayer in an extraordinary way. One day I just happened upon one of those Facebook posts of a mother/son dance, and that prompted the plan. Sometime during the Christmas holidays I asked Caleb if he might consider doing one of those non-traditional mother/son dances at the reception. (I am certain that the Lord inspired this idea because this is way out of my conservative comfort zone!) I just didn't want anyone to look at me at any point in the evening with sadness; I knew that Jim had loved Dallas too, and she and Caleb had been through so much... I so desperately wanted joy to reign on their wedding day that I was willing to risk dignity to preserve it! I must say Caleb gave me a rather puzzled look, laughed, and said, "Why not?!" And so the secret journey began...
The groom pieced together snippets of some crowd favorite songs, and I enlisted the help of a sweet young friend at church to choreograph the steps, asking her to keep our plan confidential. (Thank you, Lindsay!) She gave up an hour one Sunday afternoon in mid-March to teach us--what patience displayed since I was a bit rusty with my dance moves! Caleb made a few changes; then he and I practiced intermittently once or twice a week here in the kitchen and a bit more frequently as the big day approached. These "rehearsals" were often sprinkled with laughter as Caleb's rambunctious boxer Linc would jump in between us or I would turn the wrong way or we would just act silly and exaggerate the moves. Precious memories made as joy reigned in our hearts. Prayers being answered...
Wedding week arrived, and the best men did, too. Austin drove in from Orlando Tuesday night, and Hunter got in from Auburn after his last final on Wednesday.
So Thursday night to the basement we go! Caleb had decided that he wanted to include his brothers in the last song, so we needed to teach them the steps. (This warmed my heart more than words can express--surely my favorite part of the dance!) More laughter. Friday night, after we got home from rehearsal dinner, Caleb called us all back to the basement for a final practice. Laughter echoed and this time a lot of sweat appeared, too! Sweet joy...
Now we had agreed to keep this our family's secret. (Of course, the groom had told the bride, but she wanted to be surprised and hadn't seen the dance before the reception.) I did insist that Caleb ask Dallas' parents if they would be okay with a bit different mother/son dance, and they graciously said, "Sure!" I had not told even my closest friends. (Maybe because I wasn't sure that I might back out at the last minute? I did have occasional days of doubt...) But I was so convinced that this is what God would have us do. It was as though I kept hearing Him say, "This will bring joy and smiles to everyone." So as Caleb and I began the traditional part of the dance to Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World," I smiled at him and smugly said, "They don't have a clue. No, not a clue..." After a few measures the music abruptly stopped; I kicked my shoes off; and the rest, as they say, is history.
This verse in Ecclesiastes seems perfect for this season in our lives: we have wept; we have laughed; we have mourned; and we have danced. How thankful I am for a Savior who loves so deeply and intimately that He would make clear the path to joy! A few weeks before the wedding I was struggling--feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all and missing Jim profoundly. Fresh grief seemed to resurface amid the planning and decision making. One Sunday evening I just spilled out my heart, along with the ugly cry, to the precious ladies in my small group, asking them to please pray. And pray they did--right then, surrounding and even laying hands on me. I am convinced that this night was a turning point. Nothing had changed, yet everything had changed. Oh, may we never lose sight of how powerful prayer can be! My spirit was refreshed, and I was reminded of how important it is to be vulnerable with those we love and trust. Without even knowing it, they helped give me the courage to do the dance!
The blessings of the entire wedding weekend were abundant--I must save those for another day. There were so many glimpses of God's grace and His goodness. The prayers of many were answered as joy triumphed. All seemed to delight in our surprise.
It was indeed a time to dance.
(I am attaching the video in hopes that it brings residual joy and smiles. Unfortunately, we kept such a sound secret that no one captured the entire dance! Most were in such shock that we were midway through before they grabbed their phones!)
