Amazing Grace

"My frame was not hidden from You
  when I was made in the secret place.
 When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
  Your eyes saw my unformed body.
  All the days ordained for me 
    were written in Your book
    before one of them came to be."
                                  Psalm 139:16

One of my all-time favorite wedding gifts is a family Christmas book given to us by a dear friend who loves Christmas as much as I do.  I remember my delight opening it and seeing "The Gibson Family" engraved on the front. Since December 1987 I have set aside an evening during the holidays to fill in the pages for that year that include these reflections: "Where We Gathered," "Those who Joined in the Cheer," "Special Events of the Holiday Season," "Memories of the Past Year," a place for a family photo, and a place to post the Christmas card we sent.  Truly it is a treasure--a Gibson family history book of sorts.  When the boys were in elementary and middle school, writing those autobiographies, I would often go to the Christmas book to help them remember what year those monumental events occurred: when we got Shelby (our first dog) or what year someone got his first stitches or when we hiked Mount LeConte... (Once I began writing Christmas letters I would just place one in the book to cover the "Memories of the Past Year" part.) We've often enjoyed just flipping through the Christmas card photos and seeing the boys' changes each year (and laughing about the sometimes--okay, often times--stressful photo-taking fiascos!)  As much as I have cherished this book through the years, I never knew that the Lord would use it to remind us of His sovereignty and His grace.  You see, the following poem is printed on the first page of the book:

                "Keep this family Christmas book
                 Faithfully through the years.
                 Record your Christmas memories,
                 The love and the good cheer.

                 When twenty-five years have come and gone
                 Won't it be a pleasure,
                 To have this book to cherish
                 As your special Christmas treasure."

Yes, the last pages of this book covered Christmas 2011--our 25th and last Christmas together.  So even as I opened this gift in the spring of 1987, our Heavenly Father knew the plan for February 3, 2012.  Simply amazing.

But He was not finished offering His reassurance.  Last summer I was going through a drawer where I keep lots of papers, journals, cards, and "stuff," when I came across Jim's deacon ordination certificate. I smiled upon remembrance of that special occasion and Jim's inherent desire to serve.  But when my eyes caught the date, I literally gasped out loud: February 3, 2010.  As I sat on the floor weeping, I couldn't help but wonder why the Lord would be so gracious to actually show me that this was indeed His plan.  In faith I have had to trust Him, but He has clearly revealed His truth in Psalm 139: that He has ordained every single day for us even before one of them came to be.  This side of eternity I will never know why His plan provided only 50 years here for my dear Jim, but I do know that I can trust our sovereign Lord and Creator who has made it so clear that this was surely His design.

And so today--February 3, 2013--worship began with the orchestra playing "I Stand in Awe." This was followed by the choir singing one of my all time favorites, "Lord, You're Holy."  In this powerful anthem the Lord is proclaimed as Healer, Deliverer, Strong Tower, Shield, my Best Friend, Triumphant, Mighty, Glorious, and Victorious--among many other names.  This past year He has graciously allowed me to know Him more intimately in all of these ways. Surely as the song says, "You are worthy of all praise." 

Now one more amazing thing: Our pastor began a sermon series last month entitled "The Gospel on Display," taking us chronologically through the book of 2 Corinthians as Paul speaks boldly to the church at Corinth.  Today's passage from chapter two included verses 12-17; these are verses 14-15:

    "But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, 
     and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere. 
     For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved 
     and among those who are perishing."

As Buddy reminded us that we are to be that sweet fragrance of Christ, my mind drifted to Caleb standing on that same platform sharing this same Scripture at Jim's service a year ago.  Caleb had concluded his message with: "My dad had that aroma--that fragrance of Christ. You could just smell it on him wherever he went." So true... Back to the present and my heart (and my eyes) were full, yet once again I was awed that God would make His Presence so vividly clear to us on this day.
  
Indeed these last few days have been quite emotional, but we rest in knowing that this great God, who fixed the moon and the sun and the stars in the sky, loves each of us far more than we can comprehend, and He has a plan for each of our lives.  With this everlasting love He has carried us and sustained us every step of every day, giving us precious glimpses of His amazing grace along the way. We are blessed.

"And I stand, I stand in awe of You
 I stand, I stand in awe of You;
 Holy God to whom all praise is due
 I stand in awe of You."
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