"A friend loves at all times..."
Proverbs 17:17
"Steel Magnolias"--that's the term Jim gave them some years ago. We had met at church in the Young Married department and traveled down teething and tantrum roads together, trading hand-me-downs along the way. For several years we gathered together on the first day of school with sack lunches for ourselves and the not-yet-school-age younger siblings to pray for our children and their teachers. We helped each other move from one house to another and kept each other's children so we could enjoy a date night with our husbands. We were the core of Baptist Young Women and still called ourselves that long after we didn't qualify. Through the years we have rejoiced in one another's family triumphs and wept through one another's trials. In spite of 200 miles and 10 years separation, God has graciously helped us preserve these precious friendships, and I am so grateful.
I've always loved the movie Steel Magnolias as it portrays the strength and beauty of Southern women and their friendships. Jim watched it with me more than once as I giggled and sobbed my way through. Perhaps it wasn't until we had moved here that he designated this title for my Mississippi girlfriends, but clearly this was a compliment. He recognized this unique tapestry of honesty, trust, and compassion woven together with faith. He often said, "It does you good to be with them." (I think that meant I was kinder and gentler after they had visited or when I returned from a few days in Hattiesburg.)
Not until recently did I think about the role of comforter that these women play in the movie. (This is the part where I laugh and cry intermittently.) Yesterday my own Steel Magnolias came to be by my side on a difficult day in this grief journey--what would have been Jim's and my 25th anniversary. A couple of weeks ago they had asked what I was doing on the 20th, and when I replied that I had no plans, they said, "Well, you do now. We're coming. We'll do whatever you want to do--even if that's nothing." Two of the four had taken off work. They brought chicken salad, pimento cheese, croissants, and cookies for dinner and even brought muffin mix and fresh peaches for breakfast. Their visit lasted a little over 24 hours as they headed back on the 3 1/2 hour trip around 7:30 last night. Surely this is the love in friendship as the Lord designed it. We laughed and cried as we wandered through my wedding album--those big hairstyles and white hose, those handsome, witty men in my dad and Jim. I had even dug out a piece I had written in June 1988 about our wedding day. These sweet friends indulged me and let me read it aloud--mushy as it was! More smiles and tears...
After that we headed to Vulcan Park, a popular Birmingham attraction that I had shamefully never visited in our ten years here. We struggled up the last of the 159 stairs of the tower, breathing a bit harder than we wanted to admit--gasping maybe? The view was definitely worth it though--truly spectacular as we gazed across downtown and surrounding areas. Then came the divine encounter: two delightful gray-haired ladies appeared from around the corner. Sisters they were-- "Q" (82) visiting from Arizona and Sue (76), a resident of nearby Fultondale. (They were wise and had ridden the elevator!) When they asked if the five of us were sisters, we laughed, but then I shared why these friends had come for a brief visit. We then learned that both of these women had lost their husbands last year to cancer--one in April and one in July. They each shared how the Lord was seeing them through (Sue had even lost her home in the tornado two days after her husband's funeral). What a genuine testimony of faith--what encouragement they offered! Sue's parting words: "You're going to be okay. You're going to make it. God will see you through." Eyes damp, I hugged this tender lady, so thankful that the Lord had arranged this meeting. He is so good.
After lunch at a Greek deli and some window shopping/browsing in downtown Homewood, we returned home and reflected on our day. It had been a good one--hard, but good. There were more tears, more memories, then the inevitable goodbyes. As I watched Cindy, Patty, Shellie, and Tami drive away, I could only offer praise to our Heavenly Father through my tears. He has blessed me abundantly--with these beloved Steel Magnolias from Mississippi and a myriad of steadfast friends here in Alabama who have faithfully prayed and "been there" along this journey. Grace upon grace...
"Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;
His love endures forever."
Psalm 118:1
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